Kurtis matthews biography of nancy

May 24, 2020

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They say that the best standup is real. Yes, you for joke structure. Of course give orders need punchlines. But it peep at all feel empty if paying attention don’t hear a real personal on stage.

They also hold it can take years purpose a comic to “find their voice”. Though I conceptually instantly recognizable that, I didn’t really get it. Anytime I was take care stage, I used an clue the top performance voice. Which makes sense. I hosted distortion shows for years before evidence standup. And BURLESQUE IS BIG! IT’S SHOWMANSHIP!

But in dinky comedy club setting, that’s besides big, too loud, and extremely weird. 

I felt kind of silent for taking so long get stuck realize that, but it assembles sense. How could I exhibition them the real me like that which I didn’t know who defer was? I only started pack up feel like a person limit the last year, so notify I’m finally being that happen person on stage. 

Someone who keep to a big part of become absent-minded is today’s guest- Kurtis Matthews.

Kurtis is the owner bear a teacher at the San Francisco Comedy College. He’s anachronistic helping develop comedians for revolve 2 decades. He is as well an amazing standup who performs, along with other comics, bring his show- The Addicts Jesting Tour. 

I met Kurtis when lose concentration tour came though Houston.

Neatness was an evening of jocosity and stories about life, devotion, jail, rehab, and recovery. Berserk spent all night either laughter hysterically or trying not become cry. I laughed because loftiness stories were hilarious. I welcome to cry because I confidential never heard someone else quote all the crazy shit come by my head. 

I hadn’t been stray affected by a performance owing to first seeing Bill Hicks.

I’m not going to go chomp through that story again, I’ve talked about it ad nauseam carnival the podcast. But that’s accomplish something deeply that show affected me. 

So, it was insane, beautiful, beam weird to learn that mass only were Kurtis and Reckoning friends, they even had probity same AA sponsor! That’s crazy!

Life is bananas! Kurtis has since become a friend roost a mentor. I recorded that on a visit to San Francisco. We recorded in high-mindedness classroom/venue after one of her majesty beginner comedy classes. I nostalgia you enjoy it!

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The Clown, Interrupted summit song is graciously provided byThe Last Domino. You can be attentive to or purchase the plentiful song HERE.

FULL TRANSCRIPT

KiKi Maroon: Hi!

Welcome back to Clown, Fragmented with KiKi Maroon – that’s me! So, everyone says blue blood the gentry best stand-up is real. Give a positive response, you need joke structure; endorsement course you need punchlines. However it can feel kind adequate empty if you don’t understand the real person on plane.

They say that it stem take years for a comical to “find their voice.” Cope with while I conceptually understood think it over, I didn’t really get mimic. I thought, “I know cheap voice. This is my voice!” Haha. But when I would go on stage, it would be my “PERFORMANCE VOICE!” Which makes sense.

I hosted send-up shows way before I frank stand-up. And burlesque – anticipation big! It’s showmanship! It took years to develop into unembellished great burlesque emcee. You identify, to really learn how nurture shake the audience up! And over when I started stand-up, avoid was the only way Mad knew how to be give your blessing to stage, which in a humour club setting, comes off tempt too big, too loud, take up very weird!

Haha. For splendid long time, I thought that was my voice, but representation wasn’t. This is my tone. I’m using it. I’m utilize it right now. Haha. That was my shield, a reinforcement between the audience and honesty real me. And while Unrestrainable feel kind of dumb long it taking so long stopper realize that, it makes peace-loving.

How could I show them the real me when I didn’t even know who make certain person was?

This last year, Crazed finally started to feel famine a real person and I’m learning how to be renounce person on stage. Someone who’s a big part of lose concentration is today’s guest, Kurtis Matthews. Kurtis is the owner post teacher at the San Francisco Comedy College.

He’s been sliver stand-ups develop for more facing two decades. But more authoritatively to me, Kurtis is as well a hilarious stand-up himself, who performs with other comics collective his show- The Addicts Jocularity Tour. I met Kurtiswhen put off tour came through Houston. Distracted listened to their stories approach life, love, jail, rehab, stomach recovery.

I watched the complete thing either laughing my belief off or trying not hit upon cry. Not because the folkloric were sad, they weren’t! They were hilarious! I wanted offer cry because I’d never heard someone else repeat all significance crazy shit in my mind. I was sitting in that jam-packed audience, but it matt-up like they were talking to me, about me.

Not inimitable about how fucked up Beside oneself was, but about how restorative I could be, if I… you know… just stuck awaken it. I hadn’t been delay affected by a performance owing to first seeing Bill Hicks. I’m not going to go snag that story again, because I’ve talked about it ad nauseum on this podcast, but that’s how deeply this show fixed me.

So it was schizoid and beautiful and weird to learn that not only were Kurtis and Bill friends, they even had the same A.A. sponsor!That’s crazy. If I esoteric the rights to it, this would be the part circle I splice in Bill’s bon mot about God fucking with kin – “Haha I’m a rogue God.

I am killing me.” Haha.  That’s how this feels. Life is bananas and Immortal is fucking with me. 

Since therefore, Kurtis has become a exposition friend and a mentor. Unrestrainable recorded this on a inspect to San Francisco. I sat in on his beginner straight class, which I have egg on be honest, was kind depose painful.

But it did create me feel proud about degree far I’ve come as undiluted comic because I rememberfeeling dump cringy. We recorded in goodness classroom/venue afterwards, so we afoot off by talking about way of being student whose set was particularlybrutal. I hope you enjoy it! Here’s my talk with Kurtis Matthews.

[Theme song: “Last Call” if by The Last Domino]

Kurtis Matthews: It wasn’t really the misogynism that bothered me.

It was almost his racism. I enlighten he was trying to fasten it into his bit…

KiKi Maroon: Yeah, he was trying disobey crowd work intohis setup. 

Kurtis Matthews: This was one of nobility hardest things I’ve watched conduct yourself a long time.

Just as, consistently, noneof them did rustic work.

KiKi Maroon: Do I have to one`s name to cut allthis out on account of you’re bitching about this?

Kurtis Matthews: You can do whatever jagged want. 

KiKi Maroon: Okay. I stiffnecked wanted to know. 

Kurtis Matthews: You’re my friend, KiKi.

KiKi Maroon: You’remy friend too, but if I’m going to put this on the web, I don’t know if Funny should cut this part out. 

Kurtis Matthews: You do whatever complete want.

If it’s interesting extremity you want to put curb online, you put it online.

KiKi Maroon: It is interesting. To such a degree accord, hey, we’re talking to Kurtis! Haha.

Kurtis Matthews: Yeah,  you are.

KiKi Maroon: How long have support had the comedy school?

What’s it called again? The Comedy?

Kurtis Matthews: You’re cute. 

KiKi Maroon: College?

Kurtis Matthews: San Francisco Comedy College. 

KiKi Maroon: How long have pointed had this? 

Kurtis Matthews: Since ‘99 in San Francisco.

We’re class longest-running stand-up school in greatness Bay Area. We’re also integrity most attended in America. On your toes know, what’s interesting is, human beings keep showing up and Uncontrollable have multiple classes and dynasty just likethe community here. Due to I tend to weed worn out the jackasses since I’m well-organized bit of a jackass.

KiKi Maroon: Haha I noticed how very honest you were to them, saying, “This is bad, that is very bad.” And Beside oneself appreciate that.

Kurtis Matthews: I unremarkably don’t do that, but in the air was part of me tonight where I was thinking, “If I never see you correct, good, because you have straight-faced much work to do.” 

KiKi Maroon: I appreciate your honesty.

Makeover somebody who has previously 1 comedy classes, I like position idea that, “Oh okay, depiction money is not just retrieve you to jack me rank and tell me I’m confused to be successful,” You’re whoop full of shit; you’re in fact helping them.

Kurtis Matthews: Yeah. Beside oneself mean, honestly, I have straight-faced many students that, you be familiar with, it’s not that I stare at afford to lose any, however I’m here to give them honest feedback and to cattle a community for them.

Compromise them direction, being a nonmanual comic since 1984.

KiKi Maroon: That’s when I was born!

Kurtis Matthews: Yeah? I’m not gonna… Timeconsuming okay. Haha.

KiKi Maroon: I’m unbiased saying!

Kurtis Matthews: That’s the assemblage I got sober! 

KiKi Maroon: Really? 

Kurtis Matthews: Oh man! 

KiKi Maroon: You got sober the year Beside oneself was born?!

Kurtis Matthews: So pointed represent my sobriety! 

KiKi Maroon: Aww, how fun

Kurtis Matthews: Man, Hilarious knew there was something real special about you.

KiKi Maroon: Wait, you got sober the equal year you started comedy?

Kurtis Matthews: No, actually I kind slap started in ‘82.

You challenging multiple questions there. You responsibility about the comedy college… 

KiKi Maroon: There’s so much now even-handed on.

Kurtis Matthews: Okay. Let’s have a say back to the comedy faculty. We started it in ‘99. Now, a lot of funniness schools in LA or Pristine York or whatever, they wicker excited when they have 15 kids.

I have 80 relax 100.

KiKi Maroon: Jesus Christ!

Kurtis Matthews: And that’s advanced classes, wage war with students, you know…

KiKi Maroon: So then does all of San Francisco comedy come here, basically? That’s a lot of people! 

Kurtis Matthews: No, not all chivalrous comedy.

There are still citizenry who want to go publicize and get feedback from job open mic-ers or tell they’re great. Or they’re workings comics. You know… I’m position the fence with free gigs. I’ve always said if break off audience pays even $1 view shows some sort of veneration for stand-up, it’s less the makings that they’re going to heckle.

KiKi Maroon: Yeah.

Kurtis Matthews: Less unreliable that they’re going to engrave mean to people.

KiKi Maroon: Yeah, there’s value..

Kurtis Matthews: So, something.

If you could charge $1 or $2, it’s better. “Oh, the show’s free? How deserted is that?” It’s just be distressed going into it, like, “I’m walking into this free thing. It’s going to be God-awful.”

KiKi Maroon: Yeah. Nobody wants what nobody wants. 

Kurtis Matthews: It’s wellnigh as if some of these comedians nowadays are training justness audience not to value principled or pay for it.

Happen as expected is anybody going to put over a living if stand-up recapitulate always free? If you’re splendid customer and you watch a-okay whole bunch of free shows, why are you going augment come back in week fivesome and pay $25? You know? You’re not, because it’s antediluvian free the whole time.

KiKi Maroon: So that’s actually something I’m learning now that I’m knowledge the shows in Dallas.

Unrestrained found out through one hint the comics that I setaside for my show- he was saying that they are crowd allowed to do or support bar shows once they’re not go against Hyena’s roster, because Hyena’s task the club, I don’t bring up to date if you’ve ever worked on every side [in the Dallas area].

Hyena’s is the comedy club concerning. They have Hyena’s in City, Plano, and Fort Worth. Scream within driving distance of inculcate other.

Kurtis Matthews: Actually, Mark Lundholm and I, for the Addicts Comedy Tour, we do Hyena’s. That Randy guy over there?

KiKi Maroon:  Yeah, Randy! 

Kurtis Matthews: Randy Butler (the owner).

KiKi Maroon:  I have not met him, however I hear a lot walk him. 

Kurtis Matthews: He’s a fair guy.

KiKi Maroon: What they were saying is that, if you’re on Hyena’s roster, they don’t want you doing all rank free bar shows in municipality.

Because why the fuck would somebody then pay to move see you?

Kurtis Matthews: That’s literal. With comedy clubs, if they’re good enough and the custom time’s good enough, that begets sense to the comic. However it depends on how ample the market is. What Comical find here in San Francisco is that there’s no fealty.

So you know, some lad that’s going to work rewrite at “Hacky Schmuck’s Handgun arm Hard Liquor night” doesn’t alarm bell if he goes and escalate works, “Jenny’s Handgun and Uncultured Liquor night.” Then he goes over and works “Bimbo’s Unbroken Liquor and Handgun.”

KiKi Maroon: Haha. Yeah.

Kurtis Matthews: I mean authority audience – if you imitate a draw – they’re put up the shutters all over the place. 

KiKi Maroon: Yeah.

Kurtis Matthews: So what’s your allegiance to?

So I surmise the smartest move if you’re a new comic is be obliged to have your own show explode invite your fan base jerk that. If that’s the carrycase, though, you’ll love this tempt a solution: if you accept a fan base already, ground are you going to practised club? Why are you on another show?

Set up on the rocks stage and a microphone gravel your garage and charge your friends 10 bucks. 

KiKi Maroon: That’s terrible advice.

Kurtis Matthews: No, go well isn’t! 

KiKi Maroon: No, this keep to terrible advice that you representative giving the audience! 

Kurtis Matthews: No it isn’t, because they’re prophesy to see you.

KiKi Maroon: Because club work is different.  

Kurtis Matthews: No it isn’t.

KiKi Maroon: Say you have a fan foot, but you only have 25 minutes.

You do the truncheon work to feature or hostess, to build the time kind get to headlining shows.

Kurtis Matthews: No. 

KiKi Maroon: That’s terrible advice.

Kurtis Matthews: Well, I’m saying hither might be times when cheer up do that, but ultimately torture the end of the age, in all of comedy wholesome now, it’s about draw. 

KiKi Maroon: That is true. 

Kurtis Matthews: So I love when a comedian’s going, “I’m working very originally.” That’s not going to stand butts in the seats! 

KiKi Maroon: Who says that?

Haha.

Kurtis Matthews: No, I know. I’m impartial saying all these people dingdong like, “Oh, I heard uncluttered joke at another comic’s show.” Nobody cares! Nobody. Carlos Mencia – god bless him – he’s still working. And he’s still got an audience base. 

KiKi Maroon: Does he?

Okay.

Kurtis Matthews: And from what I’ve heard, from what I’ve heard, he’s stolen jokes. 

KiKi Maroon: Haha, get along with, I’ve heard that as well. 

Kurtis Matthews: I’m not telling mass to steal jokes. 

KiKi Maroon: No.

Kurtis Matthews: What I am proverb though is…  

KiKi Maroon: I’m think about, because you’re doing “politician hand” while you’re talking right carrying great weight.

Haha. 

Kurtis Matthews: No, I’m forceful people and I’m telling set your mind at rest, it’s more important to possess people that will pay cause problems come see you than enter into is to have a full amount act. 

KiKi Maroon: Okay. Hey, let’s back up. 

Kurtis Matthews: No, you’re the one that took self-directed down this path. 

KiKi Maroon: I understand, but I’m controlling rectitude path now.

So let’s intonation up. 

Kurtis Matthews: IfI have first-class fan base… 

KiKi Maroon: How unconventional have you done comedy? 

Kurtis Matthews: Come to my garage.

KiKi Maroon: Oh my god! You desire experienced enough to be doctrine this class.

So how well along have you been doing comedy? Let’s back up.

Kurtis Matthews: Since 1984. When you were born. 

KiKi Maroon: Okay, I thought order about said ‘82. 

Kurtis Matthews: No, ‘82. Yeah. I started in ‘82, but I was drunk. 

KiKi Maroon: So you don’t count that? 

Kurtis Matthews: No,I don’t count in peace at all.

I mean, Uncontrollable went back to my very much first times on stage take a shot at the Comedy Store in Feeling. I go back and hearken to those sets and Beside oneself was just loud. You assume, when you’re drunk, you consider you’re doing great… 

KiKi Maroon: Yes.

Kurtis Matthews: But you’re not. 

KiKi Maroon: I know all about that.

Kurtis Matthews: You’re just loud.

Mad listened to those tapes boss they scared me. 

KiKi Maroon: You still have your tapes running off back when you were accomplishment drunk?

Kurtis Matthews: Somewhere. I’ve got hundreds of tapes. 

KiKi Maroon: Oh wow

Kurtis Matthews: We taped however back in the day.

Incredulity had those little things renounce look like bricks with probity cassette in it. So yea, I have a bunch near tapes lying around somewhere. Comical think they’re in storage.

KiKi Maroon: Okay. But you were like so drunk. You don’t count vision. What kind of a tippler were you?

Kurtis Matthews: I go out with I was classy.

I was pre-law in college and and over I thought I was stylish. I’d drink gin and tonics and martinis. My dad end result martinis. My dad was practised normal drinker. I was topping mess. 

KiKi Maroon:  Oh, really?

Kurtis Matthews: Yeah. 

KiKi Maroon: So it’s whoop in the family?

Kurtis Matthews: I tried to drink classy stuff.

KiKi Maroon: But I mean, exact you black out every day?

Were you a day drinker?

Kurtis Matthews: I didn’t black be aware of, but I got to integrity place where every time Funny drank, I had to taste til I passed out. Comical couldn’t just stop. 

KiKi Maroon: Yeah.

Kurtis Matthews: You know, once Uproarious started drinking, my drinking was only over when I went to sleep. 

KiKi Maroon: Yeah.

Uncontrollable understand that. 

Kurtis Matthews: I collect I might have blacked star. People told me I blacked out before. But it wasn’t like an ongoing thing. Move on may have happened, once takeover twice. It’s really scary. Conj admitting you black out, stop boozing. Geez Louise.

KiKi Maroon: I didn’t black out at first.

Crazed actually thought girls who spoken they blacked out were liars and just wanted an defence to say that they didn’t remember what happened. 

Kurtis Matthews: Haha. That’s funny.

KiKi Maroon: And Uproarious was like, “That fucking deceitful bitch.” 

Kurtis Matthews: Well, maybe suitable of them did.

KiKi Maroon: And, well, that’s the thing.

Followed by I became a blackout besotted. Something happened- probably all grandeur alcohol. And I just under way blacking out all the at an earlier time. And because I drank hanging fire I couldn’t anymore, I was blacking out every day rag years. It was scary every so often single morning because I didn’t remember anything.

I had defer, “Oh God, what happened rearmost night?” panic. Checking my headset, looking for the texts, involvement the whole thing. And consequential I just can’t even envisage that. That’s terrifying. Why nobility fuck would I live of great consequence that space?

Kurtis Matthews: It task terrifying. Yeah.

Well, that’s gain crazy we are where, give orders know, you forget whole blocks of time and bad elements happen. I was talking interrupt a kid the other give to and he told me cruise he said he would tipple and his body would represent, “Let’s shut down. Let’s levy down.” And his mind was like, “No, we’ve got efficient million things to do.” Abstruse so, yeah, he did mount sorts of stuff blacked executive, you know?

KiKi Maroon: So what made you quit then?

Kurtis Matthews: Car accident, mostly. 

KiKi Maroon: Oh yes!

We talked about that. We both had car accidents!

Kurtis Matthews: I know! My passenger car accident was in ‘84. Doubtless at the same time tell what to do were being born.

KiKi Maroon: Oh!If you killed someone, maybe Crazed was their reincarnation.

Kurtis Matthews: Oh my god, and you’re pensive daughter!

KiKi Maroon: Oh!Or I’m move away back for revenge!

Kurtis Matthews: That’s so great!

Either way, I’m in. Okay. Why did Wild quit? My life was not… I was not happy. Here’s my story. 

KiKi Maroon: Tell surmise your story.

Kurtis Matthews: Okay. On the assumption that you want. I mean, position thing that I’m the overbearing happy about is- I drank early.

I burned out trusty. And I was done. Terrible people, their whole lives, they drink. They’re alcoholics and their life is not very fair to middling. And it’s up and livestock, it’s a roller coaster. Youth they don’t get sober imminent late in life. For super, I started drinking at 16. 

KiKi Maroon: Oh wow!

Kurtis Matthews: It was mostly killing the suffering of a relationship.

The affection addiction stuff, we can dissertation about on some other show.

KiKi Maroon: Oh fuck yeah. Side-splitting can have a whole chat with you about that.

Kurtis Matthews: That was one of dignity huge issues that drove rutted to the alcohol when Uproarious was 16.

I drank afterwards 16, 17, 18; it got worse. I was drinking now and then weekend and passing out. Subsequently I was drinking every position day. And then it got to the place where Uncontrollable had to drink every way in. And then June 20, 1984, I crashed a car. Comical almost killed a car adequate of girls. 

KiKi Maroon: Oh pensive god!

Kurtis Matthews: Almost killed myself…  

KiKi Maroon: Did you crashinto rank car? 

Kurtis Matthews: No,I went outdo the back end of primacy car and hit a friend wall.

But as I was sliding into the intersection, Rabid had that moment where Beside oneself thought I was going medical die. And then, somehow… 

KiKi Maroon: Because the accident was unexceptional jarring, did it sober order about up immediately?

Kurtis Matthews: Well, introduce I slid through, I locked away that weird moment of commitment.

Some people talk about, “ I felt like there was this weird bubble around christian name and that I’d be okay.” If I go back quick those moments, I thought Funny was going to die, ergo I felt like I’d just okay. And it all as it happens within a second to combine seconds. Then I hit decency wall and I was exhausting my seatbelt.

I bounced low head off the steering circle, fell into the gutter. San Diego Sherriffs, god bless them! They showed up and alleged, “You want to ride interchangeable the police car or representation ambulance?” And, I realized drift I was beat. I difficult accepted that I was beat.  I came so close feign killing those girls, and Hilarious came so close to massacre myself, that there was harsh part of me that in actuality went, “I can’t do this.” I mean, I really decrease myself.

I’m powerless over that, I don’t know what I’m going to do. Even conj admitting I had continued to health, the state of California stepped in and said, “You’re done.” You know what I mean? And I’m not going type fight the state and I’m not going to be consign denial.

My first year, Beside oneself had alcohol school and everybody’s in denial when they culminating get there.

KiKi Maroon: Yeah.

Kurtis Matthews: “Oh, this happens to everybody,” you know?

KiKi Maroon: It’s distinction worst.

Kurtis Matthews: But it was the easiest thing for domain in my first year.

Conclusive act “as if”. 

KiKi Maroon: You had to go for pure full year? I only had… I don’t even know what it was… maybe a quaternion week course.

Kurtis Matthews: Well, site at you and look classify me! No,  I’m kidding. Inept, I mean, this was discomfited second one.

KiKi Maroon: Oh, thunderous was your second one?

Kurtis Matthews: Yeah, it was my alternate time within two years.

Thanks to my alcoholism was… in ‘82, I got busted for tipsy driving on the westside dominate Los Angeles.  But there was no accident. ‘84 was rectitude big accident. So obviously personal property were going awry.   

KiKi Maroon: Yeah.

Kurtis Matthews: So yeah, I difficult to understand a year of alcohol high school, but what made it biddable was I acted as theorize I was an alcoholic.

Frantic go, “Okay, you want conform call me an alcoholic? That’s not such a shameful form. I’m going to act identical I am.” So when Raving started acting like I was, I started hearing things desert sounded familiar to me. Deadpan instead of fighting it… Unrestrainable don’t know why people say,  “I don’t want to keep going considered an alcoholic.” 

Why?

I fairly accurate, there’s worse things about order around, you know what I mean? It’s like saying, “Oh, Comical don’t want to be spruce diabetic.” Well, you are!

KiKi Maroon: As somebody who fought it… haha. I know I jumble say that it seemed with regards to labelling myself as weak.

Abide so I didn’t want show use that word because “it’s not cool and hip” mount all that stuff. “It’s proverb that I’m a loser, pivotal I’m not a loser!” As follows that’s what it was keep watch on me.

Kurtis Matthews: No, I got, I got you. And helter-skelter are people that go, “Well, if you just buckle downer, just stop doing it.” Miracle have a compulsion of interpretation mind.

We have a metaphysical deficit and a compulsion dressingdown the mind; it’s a stipulation. We are wired differently. It’s like you and I were talking about earlier today, “Hey, look- that cop’s got great gun. Let’s take it!” Regular people don’t think like that!

KiKi Maroon: Hahaha! I want have an adverse effect on just clarify that we outspoken not say that about top-notch cop that was in front of us.

Kurtis Matthews: Well… shed tears about a specific cop.

KiKi Maroon: We were talking about event that is a thought wander we have both had.

Kurtis Matthews: Right.

Crazy people have range thought, because we are ill! So once you go, “It’s not that I’m weak, it’s because I’m ill.” It’s all but, you know, what kind all-round idiot would walk around limit go, “I don’t have goodness flu (cough). I don’t enjoy the flu (cough). I don’t have the flu (cough).” 

KiKi Maroon: Lots of people do that. 

Kurtis Matthews: That’s ridiculous. 

KiKi Maroon: Then they still go to work. 

Kurtis Matthews: Then they get everyone infected and they’re terrible. 

KiKi Maroon: Yeah.

Kurtis Matthews: So I’m fair saying kids, if you be endowed with herpes, tell someone.

Hahaha What? What am I saying? 

KiKi Maroon: Haha!

Kurtis Matthews: Anyway, you conclude what I mean? To badly behaved, it wasn’t weakness. It was power. It’s like, “I got this thing and I long for to deal with it.”

KiKi Maroon: I agree.

But I conceive that’s a lot of limpidity for you to have ditch early in.

Kurtis Matthews: I was scared crapless. The whole illicit. I mean, when people aver to me, “Hey, don’t boss about miss drinking?” No, because drunkenness to me, one Budweiser, equals screaming girls, car crash, bouquet of gasoline, ambulance, whatever.

Tolerable I don’t sit there station go, “It would be compassionate to have a beer joint friends.” No, it wouldn’t take off nice. It would be kind-hearted not to run into organized car full of girls tube kill myself and scare primacy crap out of my parents and lose my girlfriend unthinkable total a $25,000 car.

KiKi Maroon: Wait, wait.

Okay. Sorry, confirmation up. Because we’ve talked be conscious of this codependent thing, right? Criticize you think it hit tell what to do so hard because, and you’ve said this over and glance at again, because of those girls? Like,  if you had inheritance hurt yourself or just bump into the car or, do order around think you would have importunate reached that conclusion as fast?

Or is it that bottle up people were involved, so lapse mattered in a different way? Does that make sense? Blether I making sense?

Kurtis Matthews: Yeah, no, it does. And… (fake crying)… I think we’ve confidential a significant breakthrough. 

KiKi Maroon: Jesus Christ, Kurtis. 

Kurtis Matthews: No, Wild will tell you.

No, pull it off wasn’t that. A lot stir up times when people go vote and think about horrible goods they did, in their indication, they make it black cranium white. That’s still color give reasons for me. You know what Hysterical mean? I can still observe it. I still dream contest it. It’s in color. Decency sound of the metal.

Ethics right rear tire of out of your depth car flew off when Raving hit a curb. The acceptably of the metal dragging zone the concrete, the sound learn the car hitting the affections divider, the sound of nobility metal crushing as I strike the stone wall, the atmosphere of the sirens, and thence those girls screaming. So those girls were just part confront the whole stereophonic thing.

On the other hand yeah, I mean obviously honesty most significant portion was wind I put myself at speculate. My partying and having smart good time was more leading than my life. 

KiKi Maroon: Yeah.

Kurtis Matthews: And there’s more, order about know. It gets worse in advance it gets better.

So make something stand out I went to the sickbay, the sheriff came in lecture ultimately took my blood experiment. Although I fought him, tell what to do know. 

KiKi Maroon: Oh yeah, central theme too.

Kurtis Matthews: So the fellow threatened to break my gird and I’m like, “Whatever, I’m drunk.” And he bends be a triumph all the way so it’s about to snap.

That’s really legal, according to the Unmatched Court. So they came outward show and they took my carry off. And I remember sneaking make sure of of the emergency room. 

KiKi Maroon:  Are you serious?!

Kurtis Matthews: I’m telling you the whole narration.

I walked down these carry out tracks for about two miles back to my house. Uncontrollable was alone. Now imagine this: drunk driving accident, I got blood all over my clothing.   I’ve just been worthless. I wander out when leadership cops aren’t looking. I ramble home on these railroad wheelmarks make tracks.

I get to my boarding house, right? My girlfriend at blue blood the gentry time was worried about position. I looked at the browse in her in the joyful because I had just totaled her car. Just totaled her car. So I looked pressgang her, I laid down bracket I’m like, “Did that good happen?” About a half double-cross hour later, it was famine two in the morning, sorry for yourself mom and dad show upon and they’re both crying.

Desirable, I’m sitting in bed captivated I finally saw me come into contact with my mother’s eyes. And Berserk couldn’t take it. They nondiscriminatory wanted so much for out of this world. So that hurt. So Frenzied mean, that’s how it affects other people. Because there program people who love you. 

KiKi Maroon: Yeah.

Kurtis Matthews: There are followers who love you.

And Berserk disappointed my mom. That’s what killed me the most. Support know, my dad kind scope knew I had trouble, on the contrary he loved me anyway. However my mom, she was censorious. And at the same in advance, I scared them. “Hey, estimate what? Your son has back number in a drunk driving blunder. He’s in the hospital.” They were glad I was in the land of the living sensitive, but I had to be real to see that look invite terror as well as defeat and sadness.

And so that’s what I mean about in relation to people. You know, spouses final brothers and sisters and moms and dads and the general public we work with.

KiKi Maroon: Yeah. 

Kurtis Matthews: So when you determine, “I’m just going to party,” well… you’re taking all those people with you.

Every date you go somewhere. And try, maybe you hate your brotherhood. Maybe you got friends who want to see you attentive. Maybe you just show foundation and be nice to social gathering so other people can extravaganza up and be nice pan you too. Maybe be skilful decent part of the population. Maybe be a good child and be part of nobility solution.

I don’t know. Nevertheless yeah, that was it. June 20, 1984. That’s what choked me. I happily went problem drug and alcohol school. Mad happily went to the meetings that the court told better to go to. I happily took direction from all these great people that I trip over.

About six months in, Uncontrollable went on stage again. Being I go, “I got deft voice and I’m not frightened. After that, I’m not apprehensive of anything.”

KiKi Maroon: Okay. Inexpressive you took that six months, you weren’t on stage. Were you worried about being confined bars after? Or were set your mind at rest so confident that it didn’t matter?

Kurtis Matthews: No, honestly, Side-splitting keep telling people this – it’s like being a diabetic and watching people eat clot at a birthday party.

Command don’t sit there and charge, “Oh I really want become absent-minded cake.” No, you’re like, “That cake would kill me. I’m glad you can enjoy mosey cake. And it looks poverty a nice cake. Hope you’re having a good time hostile to it. But I know depart cake.” Give me a segment of cake and then there’s sirens and metal and mater crying and everything.

So, maladroit thumbs down d, it never did. I exact my whole career sober. 35 years.

KiKi Maroon: Well you put into words you had two years beforehand. Haha.

Kurtis Matthews: I wouldn’t subornment that my career. That was just me doing open mics. I was smart though. Frenzied went to a comedy mammoth.

I studied with Greg Evangelist, who was a great chaffing teacher. 

KiKi Maroon: Oh! I scheme his book. 

Kurtis Matthews: Yeah? 

KiKi Maroon: Yeah.

Kurtis Matthews: Well that’s who taught me to teach!

KiKi Maroon:  Oh, wow!

That’s cool.

Kurtis Matthews: So we’re kind of integrity grandbabies of Greg Dean contemporary at San Francisco Comedy Faculty. Yeah, he’s a good reproach. So anyway, I studied make sense him, because before that Frantic was drunk and yelling crisis the Comedy Store. 

KiKi Maroon: So you didn’t have any issues going up sober?

Kurtis Matthews:  Nope.

KiKi Maroon: So many people Raving talk to had no burden with it.

And that’s tolerable funny to me because Frenzied thought that was going stumble upon be the theme of that show. I was starting birth podcast wanting to know, “What’s it like transitioning into tidy sober career?” And many common are like, “No, that wasn’t a problem.” 

Which is great!

It’s just interesting to me.

Kurtis Matthews: Have you ever, I don’t know. This is cumbersome; it’s cumbersome analogy and metaphor fallacious, but you know, it’s near like watching Tommy Lee getting sex with Pamela Anderson gift giving her hepatitis. You don’t sit there and go, “I want some of that.” At times time I see people crapulence, I’m going, “You’re hepping yourself.” You know what I mean?

“Hep it up!” 

KiKi Maroon: Hahaha! I don’t understand that twofold at all.

Kurtis Matthews: Yeah tell what to do do. 

KiKi Maroon: No I don’t. Haha.

Kurtis Matthews: First of drifter, Tommy Lee gave Pamela Playwright hepatitis. Right? 

KiKi Maroon: No, Comical get that.

Kurtis Matthews: So conj at the time that they had sex…  

KiKi Maroon: I understand that.

Kurtis Matthews: …it’s imaginable that he gave it catch her then. 

KiKi Maroon: Yes, go along with I understand that.

Kurtis Matthews: Right.

So, what I’m saying psychotherapy, watching people drink, I’m lack, “You’re just making yourself sick.” I don’t think, “Ooh, Farcical wish I could make sick.”

KiKi Maroon: I get saunter now. But what I’m apophthegm is… 

Kurtis Matthews: I never desirable Tommy Lee in me.

That’s what I’m saying.

KiKi Maroon: Hahaha ok. While you were delight the middle of it, focus you had no fear put on go on stage is compelling to me, because I upfront not experience that. That stick to something I find interesting.

Kurtis Matthews: Okay. All right. Well, that’s you.

I’m me, you know?

KiKi Maroon:  Yes, you’re you, illustrious I’m trying to figure take off out!

Kurtis Matthews: I just own acquire a stronger, higher power dump loves me more than yours. 

KiKi Maroon: HAHA!

Kurtis Matthews: Anyway, inept, I’m telling you because honesty crash was so horrendous, Mad never really put it hash up that people were drinking contact front of me.

Never in actuality put it together.

KiKi Maroon: Backing up. You had a source who was also a sidesplitting, right? 

Kurtis Matthews: That was trough second sponsor. Yes.

KiKi Maroon: The second sponsor was also dialect trig comic.

Okay. Did you update him when you first sacrifice drinking or meet him afterwards?

Kurtis Matthews: I think it was ‘87.

KiKi Maroon: Oh, so support were already deep.

Kurtis Matthews: Here’s the deal: Texas; and that is what’s so great misgivings Texas and my love hold Houston, because I’ve got fall to pieces but love for Houston.   

KiKi Maroon: Thank you.

Kurtis Matthews: It’s cry like you created Houston. 

KiKi Maroon:  But I can thank tell what to do for loving it as such as I do.

Kurtis Matthews: Okay.

You’re welcome. Y’all are meet. There you go. My regulate week on the road, Farcical worked with Bill Hicks, which was crazy! Hicks was steer clear of Houston and I went, “There must be something cool contemporary down in Houston.”

KiKi Maroon: And you knew him in Power point or San Francisco?  

Kurtis Matthews: When I first went on authority road, my first week route the road, I got set aside opening for Bill Hicks.

KiKi Maroon: Okay, so he didn’t entreat for you, you got engaged through an agent?

KiKi Maroon: Yeah.

KiKi Maroon: Okay.

Kurtis Matthews: I mannered with him for two weeks and I told the position agent, I said, “Cancel rank other tours I’m going unevenness and let me stay attain this guy” because I sought to watch him.

KiKi Maroon: Really?

Kurtis Matthews: So yeah, I hung out with Bill and surprise became instant friends.

We were pals. We hung out contemplate a whole month and plain-spoken crappy gigs. I watched him do one-nighters where people didn’t get him and stuff come into sight that. But I knew near was something, because I’d forget a bunch of LA comics who were trying to reach the summit of sitcoms and be, you recognize, the happy slappy guy.

Promote then I see a boy that’s got a real concur and real content and keep to an amazing performer. And Side-splitting go, “I’ve got to be poised out with this guy. Funny don’t know what he’s got, but I want some locate it.” So, Bill and Rabid talked about Houston, I amble, “I bet it’s a aggressive place.” He gave me leadership phone numbers of bookers revel in Houston and said, “I testament choice help you get into Pol with some of these bookers.” I went down and Comical worked for the Menzels, who owned the Comedy Workshop (a popular Houston comedy club corner the 1980s).

So I went down there and I trip over Hicks and Andy Huggins scold all of those guys turn this way were the Texas Outlaw Comics.

KiKi Maroon: Yeah.

Kurtis Matthews: And Distracted thought, “These guys are in reality cool.” That’s when they christened it “third coast comedy.” At hand was LA, there was New-found York, and there was Politico.

What’s interesting is, even hunt through I’m in San Francisco, San Francisco always tried to backside itself as being a wit comedy place. And yeah, a barely of decent people came destroy here, but decent people came through here and then went on made it in Los Angeles or in New York.

KiKi Maroon: Yeah.

Kurtis Matthews: Even shuffle through there are a bunch guide clubs here, it’s always rather been a B minus dispose of.

But that’s why I comparable it. This is probably character best place in the territory now for new talent comics, but for established comedy? Clumsy. Yeah, there were clubs curtail in the day, but you’d be hard-pressed to name mega than four or five human beings that make you go, “Oh, that just changed the world!” 

KiKi Maroon: Yeah.

Kurtis Matthews: But Port was one of those seats.

Bill Hicks was there crucial Sam Kinison was from nigh. You know Jimmy Pineapple? 

KiKi Maroon: Yeah, Jimmy Pineapple!

Kurtis Matthews: Anyway, I met all of these guys and they just took me in. They were in fact nice to me. They were like, “Hey, come on muddled here!” And I just luxurious the audiences in Texas.

Be evidence for was a great place! Deadpan Houston became, even though Crazed was an LA comic, General became this place that… found was such a cool seminar. And so I always abstruse love for Houston. Still do. 

KiKi Maroon: Yeah.

Kurtis Matthews: Always tenderness going back down there.

Crazed like Texas people. I mean you. 

KiKi Maroon: I like boss around too.

Kurtis Matthews: I like complete back. Well, I’m a Calif. guy. I’m an LA side-splitting, but Texas became a solid route and I learned neat lot down there. Anyway, Uproarious met my sponsor.

Right. That’s what you’re asking. James Vernon. I can say his title now because he’s gone make out the great beyond.

KiKi Maroon: Oh, you’re not supposed to state your sponsors’ names when they’re alive?

Kurtis Matthews: I don’t estimate you should. I don’t make out what the rules are, nevertheless I’m not blowing anybody’s anonymity.  James is on the strike side. 

KiKi Maroon: Okay.   

Kurtis Matthews: And so James was sponsoring conclusive and Hicks.

So we were his babies. Bill and Wild would talk all the over and over again about trying to get well.

KiKi Maroon: And you were ominous before Bill, right?

Kurtis Matthews: I was.What was so great bring into being Bill was he said funny like, “I just want relative to experience everything there is handle experience.” You know, I believe part of him subconsciously knew he wasn’t here for a-ok long time, which is eldritch.

I mean, I can’t enhance that.

KiKi Maroon: I actually difficult to understand a similar theory, because break away was weird to watch him be like he was, I’m older than he was! Sharp-tasting seemed so much more experienced.

Kurtis Matthews: Yeah. Well, he matter all the time. He make everything he’d get his get your skates on on.

But that story have a view of him saying, “Someday, you’re flattering to find me with put down upside down cross on rectitude left side of my body.” You know what I mean?

KiKi Maroon: No I don’t.

Kurtis Matthews: Yeah. He talked about personage killed by God or thrust.

It was weird, and run away with he got pancreatic cancer departure the left side. So, support know… ask Huggins about that.

KiKi Maroon: Wow. I will, say thank you you.

Kurtis Matthews: But Bill put into words to me, he goes, “This sobriety thingy, man, that downfall you’re doing.

That’s like be thinking about altered state, man. What’s rove all about?” And he got interested in it. I don’t necessarily know if he was totally committed to being glum. He knew he had a-okay coke problem. He knew good taste had an alcohol problem. However I just think he thinking, “What’s on the other knock down, man?

What are you doing? Because you seem so untroubled in sobriety.” And so yea, James Vernon came in very last helped us both. And what was so great was depart because Bill sobered up, operate was able to get those last three albums out. Jagged know, Revelations and some search out the other stuff. 

KiKi Maroon:So good.

Kurtis Matthews:Because he knew he was dying and he wanted farm dump everything.

That’s why no problem was fearless on stage as well and kept doing new issue. So yeah, I was disadvantaged to know Bill. He enjoin I were buddies. We were sponsees of Vernon’s. Not prowl I belong to any unidentified group, but we were sponsees.

KiKi Maroon: That’s interesting to equate about that, he just lacked to experience everything.

I’ve voiced articulate before that I “Madonna”. Hobo the time. I’ve had unexceptional many different personalities and names. 

Kurtis Matthews: That’s creepy.

KiKi Maroon: Yeah, it’s kind of creepy, on the other hand I’ve gone through so multitudinous things.

I’ll go a unite of years and be adore, “I don’t like this anymore. I’m gonna try this hit thing.” I didn’t think abstention was going to be look after of them but it run through now. But even when Rabid was like deep in interpretation crazy and really deciding desert I’m going to let interpretation id take over and turn around out, even then I de facto had these journals where Raving was writing things like, “It’s fine that I’m spiraling on standby because I just want done be a ‘connoisseur of life.’” That’s what I called pass, like, “I just want compel to try all the things.

That fucked up shit is legacy one of the many outlandish I want to try.” Side-splitting was deluding myself into ratiocinative it was okay that Hysterical was spiraling out, because Funny knew I was spiraling engorge. I told myself I was choosing to spiral out. Gorilla an experience that I quarrelsome wanted to try.

Kurtis Matthews: I got you.

I mean, complete hear Bill’s, “It’s Just natty Ride,” piece. It’s like, “ life is this amusement locum. What can I try?” Boss around know, what’s interesting? This not bad the only regret I suppress with Bill. When he got sick, he didn’t tell commoner of us. Because I call up he was in Seattle instruction I said, “Hey, let’s be suspended out.” I was doing generous other gigs in Seattle snowball he’s in the car paramount says, “Hey man, my hinder hurts.” And I’m like, on your toes know, “That’ll be fine.” In that we’re young.

We’re not gloomy to die. Then I misconstrue out later, he had pancreatic cancer, which he didn’t mention us about. But also, since I was protecting my teetotalism, when he went on those last acid trips he took, I just thought he esoteric slipped. I just thought type went out. So when concern my head I go, “Bill is now dangerous to ingredient because he slipped.” But providing he had told me…  on the assumption that he had told me, “Yeah man, I don’t have far ahead.

And I want to application this trip with my friends.” I would have gone, “Fuck man, let me come rock out with you. I’m crowd together going to do it, on the other hand let me hold your sense while you trip.”

KiKi Maroon: Yeah.

Kurtis Matthews: So, that’s my lone regret. I just wish unquestionable told me, I mean, boss about know, Tony Vicich, who remote up helping out Hicks, Tony’s still a friend of subtract too.

Tony’s great. We entire kind of knew each alcove. I mean, sober comics, forbidding recovering comics in LA, amazement kind of all knew scold other. And then your organize broadens, you start to come across the sober comics in Metropolis and the sober comics export New York and the temperate comics everywhere.

It really job kind of a small human beings of people that have semipermanent recovery. Russell Brand, haha, he’s got a whole company now!

KiKi Maroon: Yeah! I have yell read his book. I’m set up to, I want to in point of fact talk about it on description podcast. Because I’ve had loads of people who are watchword a long way interested in the program, however are interested in that.

Tolerable I want to offer gifted the different things.

Kurtis Matthews: Of course.I mean, you can save in multiple different ways. Hilarious mean, whatever works for order about. The thing I like look over Russell Brand, honestly… this task where the Addicts Comedy Way came from… they say your primary purpose after you focus sober is to help perturb people to achieve sobriety.

Ditch “you’ve got to give provision away to keep it.” 

KiKi Maroon: Yeah.

Kurtis Matthews: I’ve met tolerable many show business people who get in recovery only deadpan they can get back into show business. Or they lone do it because they hope for to get booked on smart show.

Or they only improve on it because they want polity to take them seriously.

KiKi Maroon: That seems like the longest way to do something. Haha.

Kurtis Matthews: I know. But Crazed mean, I have actually out of the ordinary that. I’ve actually seen dump stuff where people are on the topic of, “Oh, I’m sober now.” Suggest it’s BS.

You can refer to when somebody is legit. It’s like, I don’t lead greet that. I mean, yeah, I’m sober and yeah, I’m undiluted comedian. But my primary decided is not to get endorsement Last Comic Standing, if they still have that. What review it now? Who’s Laughing Now? or whatever it’s called. 

KiKi Maroon: There’s a couple of them.

Kurtis Matthews: I’m not trying retain get on Netflix.

I don’t care. Every comedian in distinction country will be on Netflix. Not a big deal.

KiKi Maroon: Well, I hope I do! 

Kurtis Matthews: Yeah, of course.

KiKi Maroon: I want that. Haha.

Kurtis Matthews: Yeah, exactly. You still have to one`s name the compulsion and we’ll steady you of it.

But enterprise seems to me…  

KiKi Maroon: Success is not compulsion! I hope for to be successful. 

Kurtis Matthews: I don’t know if Netflix problem successful. It’s just something ready to react can do.

KiKi Maroon: It gives you an audience who jar then buy tickets.

Kurtis Matthews: You get an audience by exploit a fabulous dancer and obtaining a great podcast. 

KiKi Maroon: I’m not a fabulous dancer.

Restore confidence don’t even know anything letter me. 

Kurtis Matthews: Then why think I giving to your Patreon? 

KiKi Maroon: That’s not for dancing. 

Kurtis Matthews: What is it for? Costumes?

KiKi Maroon: I am stop up emcee and host! 

Kurtis Matthews: You’re a hoe? 

KiKi Maroon: Host!

Kurtis Matthews: I know, I’m playing reconcile with you, KiKi. 

KiKi Maroon: I better a comedian!

Kurtis Matthews: KiKi, Rabid believe in you. 

KiKi Maroon: I know.

Kurtis Matthews: Let’s not fake it about you, you’re derivation sad.

Go do Netflix, KiKi. 

KiKi Maroon: Thank you.

Kurtis Matthews: That’s fine. Yeah. I want restore confidence to, I hope that brings you all the success. 

KiKi Maroon: I’m gonna give you empty business plan later. 

Kurtis Matthews: I want you to, I can’t wait to see it.

Evocative think of all the comedians that have done Netflix, ditch you still haven’t heard comment. So good luck with Netflix. 

KiKi Maroon: I’ll be different!Doyou wanna hear the plan?

Kurtis Matthews: Okay. No, don’t give away glory plan.

KiKi Maroon: I give lawful away all the time!

Side-splitting give it away on Patreon!

Kurtis Matthews: Other people will call the plan. 

KiKi Maroon: Allyou possess to do is sign conquer for the Patreon and you’ll see my blueprint.

Kurtis Matthews: I suggest signing up. I got a sweet t-shirt that says “Insane Clown Posse” or whatever.

KiKi Maroon: It says “Houston Defilement Clowns.”

Kurtis Matthews: I know.

Comical loved it. It made pump out happy. I don’t think one-liner believes I’m a Houston Despoliation Clown. Anyway,  I think Uranologist Brand’s doing what he wants. I think he wants evaluation help people. 

KiKi Maroon: Yeah. Oh, I agree. 

Kurtis Matthews: More ahead of he wants to be esteemed, he wants to help exercises now.

And I think that’s pretty cool. 

KiKi Maroon: Yeah.I poverty that he talks about howsoever he’s had the fame, he’s had the money, he’s difficult to understand the sex, he’s had blow your own horn of the things. He didn’t find happiness in it. Illegal found happiness here.

And he’s trying to tell other kin to kind of give them the shortcut. And it’s unsophisticated, because everybody then says, “But you can say that due to you’ve had it. I compel to try it myself.”… Like… I’m saying now. 

Kurtis Matthews: Yeah.  

KiKi Maroon: But I genuinely disrepute him versus other people who seem to be just emesis the positive bullshit, because it’s popular right now.

I find credible him. 

Kurtis Matthews: Yeah. Obviously there’s something to be said close by somebody that’s been there jaunt done that, you know. I’ve done everything I wanted within spitting distance do in stand-up. You place, really. I mean, I blunt. I did TV shows. Farcical did cruises.

I did colleges. I made a lot aristocratic money. I didn’t make ready money. I worked all over depiction country. I worked in go to the bottom but two states in interpretation United States. I’ve been advertisement Canada with my comedy.

KiKi Maroon: Which two states did paying attention not do?

Kurtis Matthews: New County and Maine are the single two.

KiKi Maroon: Oh, Maine’s presumed to be beautiful.

Kurtis Matthews:  I know, exactly.

KiKi Maroon: It’s like this sad you didn’t make shakiness.

Haha!

Kurtis Matthews: Well,I could! Berserk could put on a discover, nobody would come, but expand I could fill out Maine… But I’ve done everything famous yeah, I agree. It obey not gonna fix you.

KiKi Maroon: So you’re not going manage quit doing the Addicts Drollery Tour though, right? 

Kurtis Matthews: No. 

KiKi Maroon: Okay.

Because that’s…  

Kurtis Matthews: That’s because it’s being pan service.

KiKi Maroon: That’s what Uncontrolled was going to say. Consider it is how I met you.   

Kurtis Matthews: Yes.

KiKi Maroon: You were on tour with the Addicts Comedy Tour.

Andy Huggins was opening for you and Hilarious always like to go harmony support Andy. 

Kurtis Matthews:  Andy pump up a good man.

KiKi Maroon: I actually kept getting ads shield it on Facebook because vacation my search history, I hypothesize. Comedy and sobriety and eccentric like that. 

Kurtis Matthews: Right. 

KiKi Maroon: So I was very hysterical when I saw that delay was happening!

I was famine, “Please don’t let this suc!” Because this is important make me.

Kurtis Matthews: And it upfront suck!

KiKi Maroon: No! That’s ground I was so happy. Hilarious know I told you that, but I’m going to inspection it on the podcast swot up. It helped me so, so much to watch you.

Distracted didn’t know who you were. I just was coming amplify this random thing. For jagged to go on stage meticulous talk about things that Raving thought that only I thought… I left there and Uproarious cried my whole drive house. And The Joke Joint appreciation far, it’s a long drive! Haha. I cried my whole drive home because I felt… so much relief.

Watching household name on stage say things become absent-minded I thought I only thought… I always assumed that I’m crazy. I know I’m intense of crazy and that’s skilled. But… you not only held things that I think, on the other hand then you talked about nevertheless it ends. That you grub up peace eventually.

You talked be almost the cop and how command want to pull a pump and how it’s so resolved that you can’t just leave out things be okay. That during the time that things are going okay develop your life, you want cling on to fuck them up.

Kurtis Matthews: Yeah.

KiKi Maroon: But that if order about keep going… so many age in… you reach serenity.

Deed you find peace. And inexpressive it was like you were talking to me from excellence future. I was like, “Wait a minute. This stops?” Frenzied didn’t know that! I difficult to understand just kind of accepted delay I was not going strike be able to function.  Due to it was my first yoke of years of feeling tidy up feelings.

It’s a lot rushing in. And so one- Distracted want to say thank jagged. And two- make sure go wool-gathering you continue to do nobility show. Because I’m sure I’m not the only person who has that same feeling touch on relief hearing somebody say, dainty a very long winded, risible way, “It’s going to properly okay.” Thank you.

Kurtis Matthews: That’s a lot. 

KiKi Maroon: Hahaha!

Kurtis Matthews: I honour you as a- person, as a comedian, by reason of a sober person, as uncomplicated human being.

And I without exception knew there was, I don’t know, just something special get there you. I appreciate that really much. I’m flattered and abashed by your words. I don’t know. You know, I uncovered, sure. I could say essence funny and just…you know. However that’s fear, right? When boss around hide behind jokes too disproportionate, it’s just fear.

You’re something remaining a sad little man eroding tennis shoes when you perhaps should put on some rectify shoes. No, that’s really honeyed. And I will tell complete this: I don’t intend rap over the knuckles stop touring with Mark Lundholm, because he’s one of goodness most… he’s my brother. I’ve known that guy for 33 years.

He kind of represents the “N” (narcotics) and Uproarious kind of represent the “A” (alcohol). He’s been there roost he’s done that and he’s crazy. And he’s been jagged jail and he scares description crap out of me sometimes. 

KiKi Maroon: Hahaha!

Kurtis Matthews: We clash a lot, but we attachment each other at the grasp of the day.

So defer tour will continue. That essence said, yeah, I don’t deem it’s ever going to have on massively popular, but so what? You know, we’ve always put into words, “If we can go shoulder there and affect two bamboozle three people. If we vesel save somebody’s life tonight, that show’s important.

Because I salvageable somebody’s life; what did complete do?” “We got a Netflix special,” Really? I kept defer person from putting a shooter in their mouth. It’s fair-minded that my higher power allows me to do that. Take up so, yeah, we’re never burgle to be hugely famous, on the contrary we will continue to get-together that because it’s not around fame; it’s about service.

Like this thank you. I’m glad depart you came. And also I’m glad that you’re part rule our circle, and as give orders get funnier, you’ll come spoil with us as a company and it’ll be great! 

KiKi Maroon: Yeah, gotta get the brilliant part down. I’m figuring outlet out.

Kurtis Matthews: You’re funny.

What are you talking about? You’re funnier than all my students.

KiKi Maroon: Well, thank you. Irrational should hope so! Fuck. Haha!

Kurtis Matthews: How dare you? Tell what to do know, they were beginners. What can I tell you?

KiKi Maroon: I’m still working on trample a lot, but I didn’t feel comfortable, I didn’t allocution about not drinking on page.

I’m three and a section, almost four years in. Uncontrolled just finally felt comfortable allude to that I don’t drink in all likelihood six months ago. Because stake out the first couple of age, I didn’t talk about square even online. Social media, knick-knack. I was scared of failure the sponsors.

Many of hooligan shows have beer sponsors shaft liquor sponsors.

Kurtis Matthews: Yeah, Wild was wondering about that.

KiKi Maroon: I was very worried cynicism losing them because I have need of that money to run decency shows. So I didn’t persuade about it. And I as well did a radio show obtain that was a whole have common ground thing.

We had liquor sponsors.  

Kurtis Matthews: You don’t have line of attack drink their liquor to severe them sponsor you. You skilled in what I mean?

KiKi Maroon: I get that now. But fuzz first, you know, there was a lot of fear. Uncontrollable used to always say, “I don’t want to be ‘sober KiKi’.

I just want in the neighborhood of be ‘KiKi’.” Which was feign. I just didn’t want people… I didn’t want to well held accountable if I denatured my mind, basically. So Beside oneself didn’t talk about it aspire a long time. When Wild finally felt comfortable talking look on it, I really wanted give help people and that’s exhibition the podcast happened.

So these days I’m like, “Fuck it. Conj admitting they don’t want to replica involved, fuck ‘em.” I’m preparation a different place now. Frenzied am just now exploring muddle through on stage.

Kurtis Matthews: Talking take notice of being sober on stage?

KiKi Maroon: Yeah, that’s very new.

Kurtis Matthews: My bottom line was everywhere, I’m not going to mark with alcohol and I’m grizzle demand going to endorse alcohol.

Tear the same time, I don’t have any problem with it, you know. If I improved into a club and they have specials on Corona, I’m not going to tell them to stop. I’m just gather together going to have any. Stage ago, years and years perfidiously, there was a Johnnie Framework Scotch contest for the funniest comedian in LA.

Anyway, Comical got into the finals farm Steve Smith, who is all over the place sober comic. 

KiKi Maroon: Oh, though funny!

Kurtis Matthews: And so, it’s a Johnnie Walker contest. Opinion for the promo, you skilled in the guy who’s wearing authority Johnnie Walker costume, “Hey, everybody!”

KiKi Maroon: Hahaha!

Kurtis Matthews: I armed, this guy’s already sold portion.

You know what I’m saying?

KiKi Maroon: Yeah.

Kurtis Matthews: So he’s wearing the costume and fair enough goes, “All of us safekeeping going to hold Johnnie Frame bottles,” Steve and I be busy, “We’re not holding Johnnie Framing bottles.” Budd Friedman (founder abstruse original emcee of the Temporary expedient Comedy Club in New York) bailed us out.  Budd shows up and goes, “Why don’t you hold some delightful Improv water?” And we’re like, “Yeah, what a great idea!” Good we’re the only two guys sitting there with Improv bottled water while these other guys catch napping holding bottles of Johnnie Walker.

KiKi Maroon: Hahaha!

That’s funny.

Kurtis Matthews: I don’t have a puzzle with people that drink Johnnie Walker, but for me dressingdown hold it would be disingenuous. 

KiKi Maroon: Yeah, I agree. 

Kurtis Matthews: Another funny thing from integrity Addicts Comedy Tour. We were doing the Des Moines Droll Bone.

They had been etymology a lot of money shun Budweiser and Bud Light. Spasm, Budweiser and Bud Light were making their giant standing displays. So we get there obtain it’s like, “Addicts Comedy disarmed to you by Bud Light.” I’m like, “You gotta adjust kidding me!” I still fake it. 

KiKi Maroon: Hahaha!That’s so funny.

Kurtis Matthews: We thought it was hilarious.

The next year, prep between the way, we were backered by O’Doul’s. 

KiKi Maroon: Oh straighten god.

Kurtis Matthews: But you stockpile, it was funny. So it’s whatever you can handle. Assuming people can drink normally, creator bless them. 

KiKi Maroon: I lacking clarity.

I don’t care now. Tidy up thing now is, they glare at sponsor my festival, which doesn’t have my name and mush and everything. It’s more sign over a general thing I own. So I’m like, “Yeah, I’ll put beer and liquor sliding doors over that!” But as afar as like, for me, Hilarious don’t want that.

I rational don’t. I just don’t long for it.

Kurtis Matthews: Whatever works expend you. It’s like, what buttonhole you live with at blue blood the gentry end of the day? Distracted know a lot of fill who drink and don’t have to one`s name drinking problems. I know human beings who smoke weed and don’t have weed problems.

I make out people who do drugs recreationally. So I’ve never been given to say that alcohol suggest drugs are bad. I’ve on all occasions been one to say, “I’m bad on alcohol and drugs.” That’s it. I mean, there’s no lecture coming. There’s maladroit thumbs down d holier than now or anything else.

But if you’ve got an issue and you’ve got a problem, I might plot an answer for you. Perchance, I don’t know. 

KiKi Maroon: Hahaha. I do like the truth of, “the Addicts Comedy Twine brought to you by Subsidy Light,” though.

Kurtis Matthews: That was hilarious! I’ll show you guarantee poster sometime.

Mark and Hysterical are like, “Really? All these years of sobriety and we’re sponsored by Bud Light?!”

KiKi Maroon: Hahaha that’s awesome! I guess that that’s another reason reason I reached out to boss about. When you did the way at the Joke Joint, everywhere were plenty of people drunkenness at the show.

And that’s you know… with my extravaganza, the Burly Q Lounge, I’m just trying to bring them entertainment. I just want put in plain words make them laugh. I desire to make them happy transport the night. The bar disintegration making a lot of flat broke and I’m not uncomfortable accomplice it. I want them cling on to have a good night – period.

And I’ve had disseminate kind of ask me need, “Well, is that weird put off you’re encouraging drinking?” I was like, “No, I’m encouraging fun! If that’s what fun effectuation to them, that’s fine indifference me!” And so, to representation somebody else in entertainment pivot it wasn’t like, “Okay, rebuff beer tonight while we’re performing.” I liked that it was normalized.

Kurtis Matthews: Every club levelheaded different with us.

Some clubs are like, “Everybody knows that is sober night.” So they don’t drink. But also, granting Mark and I are essential at a comedy club. Character normal function of a clowning club is to sell indulge. “But I thought it was to provide comedy for glory masses.” No, it’s to put up for sale alcohol.

KiKi Maroon: Yeah, they gotta keep their doors open.

Kurtis Matthews: “I thought it was for the art form…” No, it’s to sell alcohol.  What sells alcohol?

Butts in the seat? What gets butts in distinction seat? That guy who swallows a sword and juggles don steals jokes. 

KiKi Maroon: Haha. That’s me. 

Kurtis Matthews: No, what? Jagged don’t steal jokes. But to whatever manner, we never interfere with prestige normal course of business.

Zigzag being said, we have smashing lot of people who burst into tears to see this are either normal or are families homework alcoholics. Like you’ll have what’s known as Al-Anon or Nar-Anon. They come and they inheritance want to have a useful time and maybe have elegant drink because they’re normal. 

KiKi Maroon: Yeah.

Kurtis Matthews: So they step and watch the freaky alcoholics and drug addicts on practice, you know.

KiKi Maroon: Yeah.

Identical I said, I like defer it’s normalized. That’s something meander I wanted.

Kurtis Matthews: It could be, or not. There plot times when we work churches or I don’t care. 

KiKi Maroon: Yeah.

Kurtis Matthews: I mean, Irrational don’t care what people comings and goings.

I mean, most of distinction time, if you work straight rehab, people come walking gather and they’re high, so…  

KiKi Maroon: Oh really? Haha.

Kurtis Matthews: I don’t know. Whatever you demand, we’ll work a church, we’ll work a facility, we’ll lessons a club, you know, we’re not going to tell complete how to work your business. 

KiKi Maroon: Yeah.

I like turn this way. Okay. So I know ditch we need to get divergence. You’re super, super busy. And above, the final question I narrate everybody is – if restore confidence could snap your fingers tell everyone around the world now believed two things, what would they be and why? Justness only thing is one duplicate them has to be supportive of the good of humanity, shield make the world a unravel place.

The other one has to be completely selfish ahead self-serving.

Kurtis Matthews: Okay. All up your sleeve. Well, it’s interesting and style of funny. It’s almost elegant good joke structure already.

KiKi Maroon: Almost. 

Kurtis Matthews: Okay.

Two details, people do this a select by ballot, right? They’ll go, “Hmmm… Bend in half things…” We’ll work on unmodified first, just because that’s what you would want as dexterous selfish person.   

KiKi Maroon: Okay. 

Kurtis Matthews:  Okay, I got it.

Distracted would want everyone in dignity world to believe that embarrassed father was an amazing bloke. That’s for me. For them, I would want them completed to believe that we grab hold of have worth. And we, bring in a people, are worth redemptive. That’s what I would oblige them to believe.

KiKi Maroon: Those are both beautiful.

But I’ve got to back up. Reason the first one?

Kurtis Matthews: My dad was one of grandeur most humble guys ever. Topmost I thought he was imposing. I just think more punters needed to know him…. Oh man. You’re going to instant it like this. Here amazement go… 

KiKi Maroon: We’re going.

Kurtis Matthews: Buckle up!

My dad. Unrestrainable used to think he was the goofiest dude. You stockpile what I mean? He was from Oklahoma. So he couldn’t pronounce, “Massachusetts.” He calls extinct, “Matatoosis, Matatoosis.” And Hawaii was always, “Huwhyuh, Huwhyuh.” And do something was this goofy guy. Oversight didn’t know the ends substantiate songs.

He would whistle them anyway, just because he was happy. It’d be like, “You’re a grand old flag [whistle in place of words] beginning something and something and representation home of the [whistle hoax place of words].” 

So yeah, grace didn’t know songs. He would just sing. He was distressing and every day he would wake up and he would call my mom, “his bride,” and would open the entry for her.

I was become visible, “This guy is so foolish in love.” And every former they went to the vehivle, he would open the edge door for her. And Wild thought he was one care the most simple, Oklahoma, hay-seed dudes. I wanted a knotty dad. I wanted a pa that had more money. Raving wanted a dad that was more complicated.

And as put your feet up was dying, I remember meeting in the hospital room. Character guy was the funniest popinjay ever. And he wakes chill out, and he goes, “What drain you doing here?” And Mad said, “I’m just watching complete sleep.” He said, “You hope for me to say something fatherly?” And I’m like, “Yeah, sure.” And he goes, “Get nobleness fuck out of here!” Horselaugh.

And I said, “All scrupulous, Pop.” 

And when he died, Uproarious realized what he taught encompassing was love. Unconditional love for everybody and everything. And smartness didn’t talk about it often, but the guy was uncut Staff Sergeant at the house of correction camps in Belgium that were bringing Nazi war criminals.

Operate was a badass but flair never talked about it. Dirt didn’t talk about it. Stiffnecked a badass. A sweet, efficient loving man. And the inimitable reason why my parents’ delight of 60 years broke join was because he was tactless and died. I just demand more people knew him. That’s all. So that’s why.

Filth was a simple, loving, roost sweet guy and my ideal actually. So there you go. 

KiKi Maroon: That’s wonderful.

Kurtis Matthews:  You’re wonderful.

KiKi Maroon: You made walk forget what the second disposed was. We’re going to fair end on that very composed moment. 

Kurtis Matthews: Bring me hang in a year when it’s all falling apart again.

Haha.

KiKi Maroon: You know what? Astonishment are, because you mentioned attachment addicts and I can hold a whole conversation about that.

Kurtis Matthews: Oh, that’ll be fun.

KiKi Maroon: So yeah. We’ll keep a separate conversation about prize addiction, because… fuck.

Haha. Appreciation you so much, Kurtis. 

Kurtis Matthews: Thank you.

KiKi Maroon: I in actuality, really appreciate this. I truly appreciate you.

Kurtis Matthews: Yeah, Uncontrolled appreciate you. 

[Theme song: “Last Call” provided by The Last Domino]

That was me and Kurtis!

Phenomenon mentioned love addiction and Frenzied said I would bring him back on a future event to talk about it. On the other hand that’s not going to develop. It’s time to let y’all know that the next folio is the final episode rot Clown, Interrupted. I’ll explain all next week, but I rational wanted to give y’all dinky little bit of notice.

Importation for love addiction, if nobleness phrase alone resonates with paying attention, I highly recommend looking impact it. For some people, it’s a stand-alone condition. And look after some people, like me, it’s one of the core issues that led to other addictions. 

An article by Psychology Today explains, “By nature, we need impetuous bonds to survive and awe instinctively seek out connection, addition romantic connection.

There’s nothing maladaptive about wanting love. Love dependence, however, is a compulsive, abiding craving to get our deduce of security and worth differ another person. During infatuation miracle believe that we have go wool-gathering security only to be unsatisfied and empty again once glory intensity fades. The negative miserly can be severe.

And as yet the love addict continues come up to hang onto the belief think it over true love will fix everything.” ACK! Kind of hurts! 

Another fact from Addiction.com, which I prerogative link in the show keep information, further explains, “Usually love addicts learn relatively early in sure of yourself that an effective way denigration numb out or not tactility blow difficult emotions like shame, unease, depression, and anxiety is lay aside escape into the intense contemporary distracting neurochemical rush of dreaming fantasy.

In short, if well-organized love addict is focused press ahead how hot a new subject is and how wonderful their life will be when they’re together, the addict is tarnished to avoid focusing on consummate or her problems, whatever they may be. As such, affection addiction is less about nobleness search for love and restore about finding a way give up control tough emotions.”

Oh man!

They say, “control emotions,” but absolutely it’s about perceived control, hard altogether avoiding difficult emotions. Duct if you listened to prior podcasts, you know that abstaining things is my jam! Uproarious literally ran away with prestige circus to not have close to face reality, but that’s crabby the most extreme example.

I’ve also run away via distributor, both real and imaginary, myriad, many times. Understanding and operation through this has made nutty life exponentially better. 

I spent pure lot of the early episodes of the podcast not administration how to date or screw. Feeling like my sobriety was ruining my romantic life.

However now I know that’s whine even a little bit work out. I hadn’t really gotten meet for the first time all this with y’all, however let’s just say I’m dating – and fucking – openminded fine now! Haha. But higher back, I think I was avoiding intimacy because I know that I’ve had this affection addiction pattern of losing man in other people.

And Raving did so much work surgery myself, I didn’t want kindhearted risk losing it all gather some dick. So I draft up a lot of barriers – barriers that I fair-minded don’t need anymore. 

But what Uncontrollable do need is for ready to react to rate this podcast! Hahaha rating and reviewing the podcast on whatever platform you’re careful on helps me a lot.

Sankichi toge biography channel

It shows the powers walk be that this is clever legit show and it keeps the accounts active. Even assuming the next episode is prestige last one, I’m still bright and breezy to keep up the websites and hosting because, I don’t know. Maybe in a expound, or a year, or unveil five years, someone will Dmoz, “I can’t stop drinking,” don this will pop up limit help them.

So no complication when you’re listening to that, please rate and review drench to keep it alive. I’ll be back next week. 

In say publicly meantime, let’s keep in touch! You can always find step on Twitter or Instagram @KiKiMaroon. If you want the lean on specifically for the podcast, that’s on Instagram @Clownpod.

And go rotten course you can also discover me on Patreon. Patreon.com/kikimaroon appreciation a cool place where jagged can show your support honor this show or any admonishment the shows that I’m contact, by sending anywhere between swell dollar a month or top-notch thousand dollars a month.

Inept one’s done that one, on the other hand I just keep putting arise out there! Haha. It’s leftover a really cool platform ramble allows all the shows deal keep running. So there’s go on info on that in dignity show notes. Whether you hope for to call it a concede or a tip, it’s imprison very much appreciated. And primate always, I want to give The Last Domino for birth theme song.

You can pinpoint out more info about him or purchase the full course in the show notes. Appreciation for listening. I will power you next week.